“Bismilla …..
Kepada Tuhan yang Maha Kuasa ku persembahkan segala-gala yang telah ku buat ditahun yang telah berlalu dan apa yang akan dibuat ditahun-tahun baharu. Kalau kejahatan mengatasi kebajikan dimasa yang telah lampau ku pohonkan semoga kebajikan bertambah ditahun baharu.
Kepada Kau, Tuhanku, ku persembahkan kesyukuran dan lautan terima kasih. Tak ada kejayaan yang telah ku perolehi kalau tidak dengan pertolongan dan keizinan Kau. Dari Mu ku masih dan akan selama-lama meminta pertolongan. Moga-moga Kau tak akan menghampakan permintaan ku yang suci.
Dengan adanya Engkau wujudnya aku didunia. Kepada Kau aku akan kembali. Saksama dan rahmat ialah yang aku pandang-pandang kan .
Amin”
That transcript was written fifty years ago today on the first page of Pak Cik’s Diary: Thursday 01-01-1959. (equiv. Hijrah 20.06.1378 )
That transcript was written fifty years ago today on the first page of Pak Cik’s Diary: Thursday 01-01-1959. (equiv. Hijrah 20.06.1378 )
I can still vividly imagine sitting alone in my room at 152, Herrick Road somewhere in the Midlands . The feeling of loneliness pervades me even as I was transcribing this today. It was cold, very cold in that room in a house without central heating. The use of an electric heater was too expensive for a student. It was loneliness living in a house with fellow students, none I could share my feeling with conversing in Malay language. By then I had been two years in that house enjoying an international company, eating foods prepared by an elderly English landlady. “Fish for you today, Hassan,” means everyone else was enjoying what I told her I could not take as Muslim. “You should try this, Hassan. Mrs Robertson is good at this, you know,” one or two at the table would tease me. Let me not dwell on this unpleasant subject.
You, children of Almanar. Pak Cik thought those words of prayers out when I was at about the same age as you who are at university today. I am proud to have those diaries of my yester-years. I look back and evaluate whether or not I have lived my life the way I promised myself fifty years ago. My above prayers tell me a lot of things, my success, my failure, where I have gone wrong and what little good I have achieved, and is there no room for improvement? If you make no effort to write down what you do and how you feel today, you will have lost the opportunity that one day you can look back and take pride, or bow your head with shame, in what has transpired in your life. Pak Cik said it all in those short prayers 50 years ago and I can say I have very little regret. He has answered my prayers.
To all of you I wish a happy new year, 1430 and 2009.
Berkhidmat kerana Tuhan untuk kemanusiaan.